Is this a fair modern language representation of a biblical story?

Frank was all alone when the Redwood tree turned into cheese. He and nine friends witnessed this miracle. Frank had no legs, so his friends carried him. Frank had walked 1500 miles to witness the miracle. He wanted to photograph the cheese, but had no camera. A voice told him to open the mouth of a kangaroo and there he would find a camera. He obeyed this command, and the zebra opened it's mouth and revealed the camera. After seeing this miracle Frank vowed to fast for 333 days, a vow he kept. Later that night in the Redwwod forest, Frank feasted on penguin eggs. When he awoke, the desert was quiet, and the sand was cool. Frank walked to an oasis, and there met a man who had three heads, and was covered with gold. The only person Frank met at the oasis was a small boy who said "I am alone, and I am hungry." Frank carried the boy down the mountain to the safety of the harbor. They ate heartily, and Frank and the three boys watched as the ocean turned into pigeon blood.