Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Is this a good poem and worth it?
It's alright but not worthy of winning a contest. Your lines don't flow naturally in several places. For instance " 'Cause I prefer you/ Than a thousand pleasant dreams" Change "Than" to "To" and it reads a bit better. The poem jumps from We to I inexplicably which is okay but confusing. " 'Cause you are the best/ Of all the days that came" doesn't make any sense. Also, "If I'm blind/ Let me know" is an unnecessary stretch. It conveys the message, as do other lines, that the most important thing in your poem is to fit in a rhyme. Don't hold yourself to this limitation. Write a poem to convey a message or feeling. If rhyming happens naturally in that context, Outstanding. If not, your readers would rather read something meaningful than a forced rhyme. Keep writing!
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